Procrastination Frustration

I work as customer service for a retail company, and during the winter holiday season, people panic and become more irrational than usual, especially if they wait until the last minute to place their orders.

An email I got from a woman earlier today:

Her: I ordered two weeks ago and paid for express shipping, where is my order?! Refund my shipment costs immediately!
Me: Ma'am, according to my system, you placed your order two business days ago, on Monday, and according to the tracking email that was sent to you, the package was delivered on Tuesday. Your signature is scanned to the online tracking page.
Her: Oh, I got something, but I didn't think it was from you guys.

And a call that just came in:

Man: If I place an order today, will it get to Hawaii in time for Christmas?

Speaking of Hawaii, another call:

Woman: Why do I have to pay $50 for overnight shipping? I need this order before Christmas, and it's not like I live in Alaska.
Me: It says here that you live...in Hawaii.

Sometimes Phones Work Better.

Just got a call from our L.A. office.

"Our internet access is down. I've been emailing you about it all day!"

- The Paralegal

My boss emailed the office manager, telling her to tell me to do a project. She simply forwarded the email to me. God forbid he email me directly.

Email: Enabling passive-aggressive bureaucracy and bigshotism since god knows when.

- The Paralegal